Names

The screenwriter for my new favorite I want to see so bad film, Juno, has a wicked name.

It's Diablo Cody.

I could say it a million times and not get bored.

Diablo Cody.

DAMN that's a cool name.

Oh and Ellen Page is cute too.

du du du du du

I'm a sucker for sappy, bittersweet, lackadaisical love songs. My heart goes all warm and fuzzy, my head begins to swing and I start humming the tunes which invariably gets stuck in my head for some time.

Kathy's written a list to Santa.
how cute. :D


I like this song, it's sweet, soft, melodical and contains the adorable but confusing line "I can't see what anybody sees, in anyone else, but you."

AND I just watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which was fantastic, and Zoolander, if only to see why they banned it in Malaysia. That was also excellent, I might add.

It's christmas time and though I'm not alone, I very much feel that way.

So I end up listening to sappy songs, pondering life's mysteries as I worry about things like my assignment and when will I ever find someone right for me.

I've not been too good this year, I did somethings I shall mention on some other blog that I'm going to start soon, and I suppose Santa doesn't like naughty kids does he? Maybe I'll get a candy cane after all this is through.

Enchanted.

I just saw enchanted in the cinema. It fuckin blew me away. Well, not that much, but I enjoyed it alot. A whole lot.

I went in with absolutely not much expectations at all and was surprised at how much I laughed.

It feels very traditional in the Disney sense. All the songs are good and catchy too, except for the ending pop tune.

Amy Adams plays the leading role as a fairytale princess suddenly thrust into modern day new york by her evil soon-to-be step mother in law, and I have to say that she carries the role perfectly enchanted. The severely over the top acting fits well with the cheesy tone and is a really delight to watch. It's just fun to watch her break out in song on every little occasion that ties itself to the love subject.

Everything is executed with such a level of charm that I found it hard not to get absorbed into the overacted, melodramatic story.


:D

Wailing haikus of love.

I wail in sadness.

The pool becomes rather dark.

my guitar fails me.

----------------------

melodies of love.

Slowly fluttering in me.

I hear her no more.

----------------------

My cold cup of tea.

My stack of three DVDs.

Sleepy dog passes.

----------------------

You came silently.

No windows open today.

It's facebookery.

----------------------

My heart sings to you.

My mouses' violent fickle.

My mind aches of you.

The greatest and most touching speech I've seen on climate change so far.

Why you should be scared, if you aren't already, and why it matters.

This is a song I like.

You're great.

That's why I'm giving you this song,

even though sometimes you might feel everyone around you thinks you're a waste of space,

I really think you're great.



Thanks for reading.

I hate people who don't listen

Because it just means you can't communicate with them no matter how hard you try. It's futile and it's pointless. It's what keeps this the human race from moving forward.

Why not say that they're both of equal importance

and we're not doing enough of one then?

lousy manipulative arse.

HOw is it not the idea??

How is what you do with the idea more important than the idea?

manipulative arse.

It's not the idea?

It's not the idea but what you can do with it?

bollox.

Where do your lower arms go?

I can SO relate to this.

I was looking at it and I thought "wow, so true".

Then I laughed. Been a while since I laughed at a webcomic. Most of it still good, just not lol material.

Then I stopped.

Then I missed her.

Then I sighed.

......I sigh.

Now you have a legit reason to watch porn.

seriously.


According to a recent study conducted by researchers in Frankfurt which devices, methods and results are further elaborated on in this link, 10 minutes of porn a day can help an average male live longer from 4-5 years.


Men of the world rejoice. Now you know what to say if and when someone asks you why you watch all that porn!

Girls, now you understand don't you? It's all about spending more time with you! thats why us guys watch porn.

seriously.

researchers at Frankfurt FTW.

Somebody's wedding proposal.

How did you propose to you're significant other?

A link to a formal analysis of Metal Gear Solid 2.

I played MGS2 a while back. I liked it immensely, but couldn't make much sense of it. The structural organization of the game echoed much of it's predecessor, the pacing was superb and everything felt vaguely familiar. When I finished it I knew Kojima had created something that transcended the banalities of the videogame medium. I just couldn't put my finger on what. It took me 3 play-throughs and 2 MA-worthy essays before I finally GOT-IT. I had no idea why Kojima would do something so far out of the comprehension of most of it's target audience. But kudos. Kudos for staying through to his artistic vision. Kudos for creating a masterpiece.

This post, and this link, is for people like me. Who played MGS2 and didn't get it until 6 years later.

Western Influences in Eastern Entertainment targetted at western audiences.

Few things get me off as much as work of Japanese content creators who are heavily influenced by western media.

case in point, Suda 51 and Hideo Kojima.

Goiichi Suda, or Suda 51. Modern surrealist with the slogan "Let's Punk". His work often embodies cryptic visual symbolism carrying heavy political messages, often cited as glowing examples whenever an argument about games as art surfaces.

Killer7
Awesome playstation2 game I played a while back.


花と太陽と雨と
sun flower rain.
interesting playstation2 game no one played.


No More Heroes.
Wii game I'll play as soon as I get the chance.
Voice acting-wise I think it's a notch below Killer7, but I'll have to withold judgment.


Hideo Kojima. Mr. Metal Gear. Famous for crafting spy-stories that are culturally relevant to their time, featuring bizzare and often plan weird images and themes, oh, and also Grade-A movie directing skills that probably would rival some of Hollywood's best.

Metal Gear Solid. MGS.


Metal Gear Solid 2. Personal favourite. Of the MGS series that is.


Snatcher.
An earlier project of his that has less 3D and visual flair, but still hits heavy narratively. Frequently tops "best games of all time" list of those who played it.

Suda 51 recently announced plans to revive this series. Rejoice.

Policenauts.
Super rare japan only visual novel touted as "the next generation of snatcher". Probably the least played Kojima game. But rejoice, an english patch is due out soon. I have no clue what the story is about and I do not intend to find out until I play it. Soon. Real soon.


MGS4. Coming soon on a console nobody can afford.

Still culturally relevant, yes.

*sniff*

this is just the saddest thing ever.

blogging

from somewhere very very far away. Mentally at least. I think. hehe.

freedom of speech, one step at a time.

Democracy was always won with bloodshed. Freedom is always acquired, often forcefully, never given freely. 4 days ago Malaysians did the country proud by letting their voices be heard at the BERSIH rally.

I'm so proud *sniff* of the *sniff* courage and reso*sniff*lution shown by fellow countrymen. I honestly don't know where this will lead us, but nevertheless I couldn't be any happier right now.

While I'm in this mood I should really say screw our government. Screw UMNO. Screw those opportunistic bastards who used the May 13 tragedy to seat themselves at the top and destroy democracy.

UMNO was doing the Patriot act long before America with the ISA. It's time we fight for our freedom. Our democracy.

My biggest regret is that I could not attend the riot.

Kudos to BERSIH and fellow countrymen for taking a huge step forward for true a democratic society.

When I get back I swear I'm not watching ntv7 anymore.

not a very good time to be a writer

or a TV viewer in any case. House, Heroes, Grey's Anatomy, The Office.... sigh. This "squabble over money between rich people" has victims, and I don't sympathize with the suits, not one bit. But I need abit of sympathy.

My only console is that Top Gear will be running as usual.

And this morning I was just thinking how great it would be to be a writer.

more design related stuff.

who needs designers after all?

alot of stuff. influx of silly stuff today.

more hugs. from ze.

"Make the logo bigger"

Here is a song called "Make the logo bigger"

For all the art directors and designers that come here.

And now for something less moving, but just as depressing.

Today on 4chan I found this. Dubious source, I know. But still.Then on wikipedia I found this. Yet another dubious source. I KNOW.

"As with previous particle accelerators, people both inside and outside the physics community have voiced concern that the LHC might trigger one of several theoretical disasters capable of destroying the Earth or even the entire Universe. This has raised controversy as to whether any such risks outweigh the potential benefits of constructing and operating the LHC."

Are these assholes fucking insane? Someone PLEASE fucking explain to me what kind of benefits would outweigh the possible destruction of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE. Or even the earth at the very least.

Loyal to the end.

:'(

Goal.

I just had a thought. A new goal.

And thats to someday, somehow, be able to say, clear of doubt and with utter convictions the following phrases.

"Talent is bull. Hard work is everything."

"Sincerity will get you anywhere."

I believe talent can only get you as far as your diligence and passion will take you.

I believe that nobody is extremely talented, just extremely diligent. This makes all the successes I've read and seen seem within a stones throw away. It's hope and hope is everything.

I believe sincerity, just like anger and sadness can be felt by others, well by definition I suppose it has to, but more and more people are shielding themselves from it. I'm not so optimistic as to believe I can convince everyone I meet I'm sincere of my objectives, mostly because in order for that to happen other people must create a space for it to flourish. In that respect I think Janet has done a great job.

Idealistic as I am, holding on to these thoughts is the meaning I prescribe to my life so it doesn't become a putrid mass of stinking jell-o in the future.

Bob Thurman: Becoming Buddha -- on the Web

Ideas.

When I get an idea in my head, I like to dwell on it a little, let it swell and build up, let it feed of the electrical impulses generated by my neurons, let it sit and imagine it grow and I think about what it could or can or should be like.

I sit around, maybe surf the web a little or play a little team fotress2 or smoke a cigarettes waiting for something to happen while the idea sits in my head, waiting to be executed.

I'm not stupid, and I realize this is a bad practice, but sometimes what you need isn't kind words of encouragement, or postcards telling you to believe in yourself or motivational posters from 4chan.

Sometimes what you need is a good kick in the head. A strong kick, the kind that Pele or Zidane or heaven forbid, those rugby flykickers or even worse, american football players might dish out. One that starts out innocent, and speeds up with ferocious velocity and force just before the moment of impact. The kind that sends you flying and makes you kiss uranus. -haha.

So when all is said and done I guess what I'm trying to say is go out. Stop procrastinating. Do something. You've slacked long enough you feather brained numbskull. Do CLive a favor and work on those ads and ideas. YOu know you've got them, but right now they're still babies, waiting to be fed and nourished, perhaps one day becoming the tarrantula that all ideas aspire to be.

.... you had to be there.

ANYCASE.

What I really mean to say after all that self reflective ranting and loathing is this.

WATCH THIS DUMBASS.

Realizing that saying that may not really get you to watch the intended video - which is what I desire for you to do, only reader - here is an improved, cleansed, cleaner, politer link to click on.

edit:
I wanted to add something here but I can't remember. Maybe narcissistically looking at the homepage of my blog will help me remember. I'll do that now.

edit2:
I remember. I was going to say, if you're reading this then probably A) you've not clicked on either link, or B) you've opened said link in another tab. ANYCASE, whatever you've done, I implore yout o check out some of the guy ( Ze Frank) punya other videos. especially if you consider yourself part of the creativ-sphere.

Smoking.

When someone tries to quit smoking they lose it at the last minute because they lose sight on what could have become of them if they succeed. Instead the nicotine craving clogs their minds and all they can think of is how to get more.

I'm going to base my whole smoking campaign on this insight, if you cal call it that.

Still alive

I don't usually post lyrics.
but this song is just too good and funny to pass up.

If you haven't played portal or checked out half-life 1&2 i suggest you do so asap.

:F

the song itself.

Lyrics to Portal credits

Spoilers, read at own risk!!!

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here
HUGE SUCCESS
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science

we do what we must because we can
for the good of all of us except for the ones who are dead
but there's no sense crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying until you run out of cake
and the science gets done and you make a neat gun
for the people who are still alive

I'm not even angry
I'm being so sincere right now
even though you broke my heart and killed me
and torn into pieces
and threw every piece into a fire
as they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a wonderful line
and we're out of beta, we're releasing on time
so I'm glad I got burned
Think of all the things we learned for the people that are still alive

go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
maybe you'll find someone else to help you
maybe black mesa
that was a joke, haha, fat chance
anyway this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist
look at me still talking, when there's science to do
when I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run, there is research to be done
on the people who are still alive

and believe me I am still alive
I'm doing science and I'm still alive
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive
While you are dying I'll be still alive
and when you're dead I'll be still alive
STILL ALIVE, still alive

I'm in art school.

This sums up my current feeling about art school very nicely.

From Postsecrets.com

buying music online

Ah, the joys of capitalist consumerism.

I just purchased Radiohead's new album online.

If you haven't been keeping up( like me ). Heres the story.

Sometime in the past, Radiohead's contract with their previous recording label expired. Being the fine, intelligent chaps they are they opted not to renew it or sign another contract, instead, they decided to operate as free agent musicians, selling their music through the internet directly to the public. Cutting out the evil middleman known as the recording label.

What's special about this is that they are allowing consumers to pay whatever they want for the album. So i paid GBP 1.45 for it. 45p is for the credit card wrangling fee or something, where as the one pound is for the music itself. Pretty good deal if you ask me. You could pay just 45p for it, which is the minimum charge, if that is what you wish, me? My conscience was nagging.

Yeah, apparently it's been done before by some other band, but this IS Radiohaead we're talking. Currently one of the biggest band in the world.

SO yeah, this is massive.

It feels surprisingly good to buy something and pay whatever you want for it. It gives you a sense of satisfaction for some reason, and it feels great cause you KNOW you're not being ripped off. I must say this is the happiest purchase I've ever made in my life.

Radiohead giving away free music, Nine Inch Nails going independent....

The music world is in for some serious awakening

Intention

My friend showed my a movie she had done up for class while I was in London over the weekend. It was a script for a 3 minute silent black and white short film. It was cryptic as it could get, featuring a boy in a hospital room listening to sounds ffrom a glass apparently.

She asked me for feedback, I found myself stunned and unable to speak, now that I look back, I wonder why. Was it the fear and intimidation of class and status I had imposed on myself when I'm confronting her? (she's much older than me and I sort of respect her in more ways than 1) Or was it the fear of judgment? I found myself unable to articulate the thoughts in my head, unable to form sentences, I paused for quite some time before making another comment that was neither what she was looking for nor the clear abstract of thought in my head.

Maybe it was my first time looking at a "non-shooting script", but I just couldn't get the short film, according to her all her other peers got it. I'm left wondering if it was just me, or everyone else pretended to get it but me.

At the end though we did reach some sort of conclusion, she thought of a way to improve the script and make it visually dramatic, though was it with or without my help, I can't say.

Looking back though, I realize the first thing I should have done is asked her the intention of the short film, because that nagging thought at the back of my head when I was reviewing the script was really a voice telling me I can't get the intention of the film.

I think that intention is the most important thing when one is creating something. It outlines the principles of the work, supplies the foundation on which that piece of work will be built on, and if the intention is clear enough, will determine the visual look and feel of the work.

From now on every time I do an ad or a project, there will be a post it on the side of it outlining the intention of the work.

I can't test this intention theory of mine, so it remains a thought I suppose, but like Scoot Adams once said: "It's as good as knowledge".

At least thats what I like to tell myself anyway.

On the seventh day

Today I discovered Facebook.

GOodbye to all that is associated with good and friendster.

Quote of the day.

Upon chance, I stumbled across a quote by Gandhi.

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

I think.

Food for thought.

Viagra

This much, too much.

Millionaire asshole Tony Stark FTW.

I simply can't wait.

ACCOMPLISHMENT.

TOday I finally got windows xp running on my macbook pro, which to me is huge, because first of all I've been putting off doing it for more than 3 months(yeah it goes under the list of things I wanted to do but never got around to until now), and the last time I tried to do it a few months ago I was so traumatized by the experience I decided I would not attempt it until I was ready.

Well, the trauma mostly arises from the fact that I didn't know how to choose startup discs when starting up, but still, on my young, small, naivette and innocent mind it was a huge scare. Well I managed to install it, but after that the whole thing seemed to go bonkers, not letting me right click and ejecting cds, I remember how I frantically restarted the computer(probably causing damage to my hard drive-which I repaired some time earlier), holding down the eject key-silly me- in hopes that the mofo would spew out the windows disc and let beautiful, sweet OS X take over.

I cannot begin to describe the amount of relief when it finally happened. I was sweating machine-gun bullets and vowed never to do it again.

I almost developped windowsonmacophobia.

Fuckin scary.


But thats over and done with... now I can run all the windows apps I always wanted to on my mac!

mwahahahahahahahahahhaa

A era dawns.

Missed flight.

Thanks to the mistakes made by various persons - myself included - , I'll be staying in Malaysia for another week or so.

I was supposed to fly off on the 8th, 12.55am, which means that I'm to arrive at the airport on the night of the 7th.

Stupidly, we kept thinking 8th, 8th , 8th. So we went to the airport on the 8th, 930pm or so, almost 24 hours after my supposed flight took off.

Thus began an hour of blaming and shouting.

Thus the missed flight.

So I suppose I should take the blame partially for relying too much on other people.
Namely my parents.

Well, on the bright side of things, I'll have another week here...

that gives me time to dot things I've somehow put off for three months ever since I came back.

:D

Bioshock'd

Bioshock is a pc videogame supposedly being released soon.

The demo was released recently, and like most people, I couldn't really give a shit.

However, screenshots and trailers of the game proved it to be incredibly awesome.

But the thought of upgrading my PC distanced me form such midless pursuits. I'll stick to twlight princess and metroid prime 3 when it comes out.

That said, I found this incredibly awesome and sad.

love

I love writing here.

I do, though I may not update as much to show for it, but I do. I like pouring out words which have no apparent meaning, post rationalizing and convince myself that I'm a genius for coming up with said words.

I love the freedom to say what I feel here, with no consequences or effects, on the outside world. When I'm here I can be as irresponsible as I want to, as non-sensible as I want to, and as stupid or as narcissistic as I want to.

Here I can escape from being an adult for a while, stop growing up and start reverting time to when everything was more innocent.

I absolutely love love love it.

I love that my blog doesn't have any readers but myself.

Maybe that isn't true, but I certainly would not want my blog to become mega famous like kennysia.com or minishorts.com. cause thats when the shit hits the fan and you choose your path. Change or Die.

I like my friends reading it. Why I can't say for sure. It's a mixture of gratification because someone reads what you write, and ... well mostly that I think.

I don't really like my loved ones and family reading it.... not to say that friends aren't part of loved ones... but you oughta get whata Ima saying. Mostly because they're the harshest critics of me. I can't really be myself in front of family. It's such a burden. Maybe because secretly I despise myself, I hate who I am, but I have no problem showing it in front of other people, but in front of blood-relations I'm scared shitless. They're the most judgemental I suppose, of me I mean.

Or perhaps deep down inside me I know that I can never become what they REALLY want me to be. Most probably because it contradicts everything that I have built to define myself. No matter how much the monkey tells itself it's a swan, it can never become a swan, and in this case the monkey doesn't WANT to become a swan anyway. But other monkeys seem to want it to be so....

Argh a swan is a pretty bad metaphor, but I think I've had my say.

....

sigh.

day

Today i met Ivy again. It's been about 4 years seen we last saw each other. Boy has she changed. Well aesthetically lah at least. Instead of the jeans and T-shirt get-up I expected she showed up in a little black dress and heels. Instead of curly and clumsily tied together hair she had long, sunsilk like hair.

She still feels the same, except much wordier. Alot more things to talk about than I last remembered. T'was fun. Found out she wasn't single no more. tempus fugit. It seems like it was only yesterday that We were in form 5 class together. Well I suppose people do change in certain ways.

Was a terrible day. mostly because I slept so early and woke up so late. After seeing my brother off at the airport we went ate breakfast. We got home at about 8 am, and I slept til 330. If it wasn't for Ivy's phone call I'd slept til God knows when.

Played alot of zelda too. 18 hours into it. It's the best game I've played in a long time. Well second next to Wii sports maybe.

As I'm writing this I'm contemplating keeping a diary. Most because of the Sagmeister talk on monday. In which the strongest thing that struck me was "keeping a diary helps my personal growth."

Personal Growth.

mmmmmmmm

Also My visit to 95% for the copywriters Grad Show once again thought me how little I knew and how much I have to learn about advertising.

Now it seems like such a childish dream... working in the advertising industry.

But nontheless it's mostly what I'm going into. For what? Well mostly for the chance to do good work and the chances to move everybody.

I'll make it.

Right now I think I really should start keeping a diary.

the buildup

The buildup

Lasted for days

Lasted for hours

It all came through

My favourite thing

DO you see? what I mean.

The Buildup is so

anticlimatically insignificant

When you do see what I see, I implore you to come over here.

Into my citadel

and swing of the chandeliers.

can you see them? made out of glass, cheap plastics and fake diamonds

sparkling

Like 7up and coca cola,

Is it my future? You're swinging away?

Or do you jump, and land, maybe in a toilet somewhere.

and piss and shit.

...

The Buildup

is a band made out of only electrical guitarists

playing out of rhythm and sweetly complementing each other.

Like the monster at your door

scaring me away everytime I aproach it.

with hands bound by manikins

and feet tied to balls of steel

My balls are made of steel

the buildup.

Is quite a meaningless and inane piece of human emotion.

Honestly

Honestly I wanted it to continue, to live forever, to be burned into the hearts and minds of Malaysians everywhere that this one individual stood up to oppression, to censorship and for some of the Malaysian people.

Honestly I wanted people to take note, for the gahmen to realize, and maybe not change their ways, but just realize that yes, we are Malaysians too, just that we hate the administration that you're running.

I wanted many things, but now I think it's mostly gone.

This is a tribute to the man who stood up, had the guts to say what many of us feared to say, and a blow, an insult to the same man who did not stood his ground.

I hate the star.

If you're malaysian and your chinese, chances are you'll have seen, or at least heard of, the negarakuku video thats apparently causing an uproar and furore here according to the media.

The video created by Wee Meng Chee addresses some very interesting issues in our country today and further fortified my belief that loving your country and loving the government is not one and the same.

It's and interesting watch to say the least and the video has garnered it's share of supporters. It became a sort mini voice of the generation for us pitifujl Malaysian chinese, to say the least.

Today I went to thestar.com.my to find this article. Looking back now I can't say why I was angry. But I was and still am.

Probably it's because

a) it's what I consider a rather perposterous case of deliberate false reporting.

b) it crushes my admiration for the guy if this happens to be true

c) the article was probably referring to this blog post that he made on sunday.

Now if you ask me he has really nothing to apologize for. The government attempting to impose their brand of justice to me is just proof that our government relies on fear and lies to supposedly band our races together under the false banner of unity.

Malaysia today, if you ask me, is anything BUT unified.

This is pretty much true and I sincerely hope that things will improve in the future.

Said blog post that was made on Sunday, in my view does not come across as the humble, humiliating response to the governement's threats as the Star claims it to be. No where iun the blog post does he apologizes, claiming what he did to be wrong, or ask for forgiveness because, to him, and I'm sure to many people as well, he has done nothing wrong.

“To end the controversy, I will remove the video clip from my blog and I hope other bloggers will stop distributing the video clip,” says the star.

... what bullshit. The original video has long been removed and the ones popping up are posted by people who support the song.

“It has taught me a lesson about the spirit of nationalism and race relations. As a Malaysian, I did not intend to shame the country or ridicule any religion. "

....... I STILL FUCKING HATE THE STAR.

Then again, they were probably just relaying information given by 2 the Johor MCA Chairman Chua Soi Lek and....

hmm the boys father Wee An Hee.

Well guess this shows that I haven't read the whole article before writing all of the above. Well in that case in the oft-chance this happens to be true, just to tell you, Meng Chee that I have lost my respect for you.

My mind wants to believe that it's all a last effort ditch to prevent you from going to jail, and I.. really want that to not be true, but if it is.. then well..

sigh.

I hate our government.

:D

My short trip to 95% reminded me how little I knew about advertising.

I doubt myself for a while.

But what I can only do I do the best I can.

I'll show myself one day.

Stop.

It's hard to stay focused when all the world begs for your attention.

Hard to stay clean when everything is spraying inkblots of filth.

Difficult to stay rooted when pulled in so many different directions.

Hard to deny what you're expected to accept.

Mountains can be moved, oceans may dry up.

Where will I be at the end of this wild, wild goose chase called life?

..........succumb to the hype.

I'm reading my sister's friend's copy.

I'm not particularly proud of myself, no.

The write up and details on my peninsula trip down south

can probably be found here.

eheh.

2 weeks pt 1

I'm always tired when I start to blog.

It's been about a month since i last updated.( I think) Not that anyone cares, but I've been around. Freed of oppression, the master-less Ronin wanders the ubi kentang and the
doggy, searching for cheap booze and adventure.

I went to Kuching, attended the rainforest music festival thing. Had a few things happened to me, but didn't get drunk although booze there was dirt cheap(compared to KL anyway).

Lord I'm so proud of myself.

On my way back I looked out the window of the airplane. Pearl white sculptures of infinite complexity greeted me. Astonished, I pressed my nose against the glass for a better view. In them I saw wondrous shapes and forms human architects could only dream of creating. The sun shines it's rays upon them, casting shadows and giving them volume. From a distance they look almost solid, heavy, cumbersome. Waterfalls and arches, towers grander and larger the the Colossus of Rhodes, standing taller then our own twin jagungs and reaching further than the Grand canyon I'd imagine. It's almost like I've met God. It's a religious experience, watching clouds.

Alas, as the great metal bird drew closer we see vapours, smoke, and tiny droplets of white, perhaps huddling against each other, sooner or later forming rainfall. The illusion does not last, but what an illusion it is.

Clouds are a lame analogy for life, but I find it weird that a lot of us try to distance ourselves from others, showing only what we think other people should see. Are we afraid of what others will perceive when they come up close? Or are we just too scared to face up to it?

I'm struggling to face up to myself everyday lately.

070707

070707.

only one more year to 080808.

Fruitless journey.

Being a vegetarian is pointless.

Vegetarianism irks me. I don't oppose against it the way I'm opposed against fundamentalism, but enough people around me do it to spur my thoughts into the "why" of it all.

There seem to be many reasons for going vegan or whatever, or at least that's how people would like you to believe. I think all those reasons can be categorized under 2 umbrella motives. For health, and for compassion.

If one does it for health, I can understand. Not because that it actually makes you healthier (it probably doesn't) but ultimately one's health is directly related to how good one feels about oneself's life. If consuming nothing but plant-based products make you feel good about yourself, by all means. I'm all for more happiness and peace and lovin' yo.

Then there's those who do it out of compassion. It is their point of view that killing another animal for food is barbaric, cruel, and unnecessary. Consuming plant life is much more acceptable because they feel no pain.

I find this argument to be staunted, weak and unconvincing. The whole thing works on the assumption that suffering can be measured. Which I think is complete bollocks. Who's to say plants don't feel pain when you amputate them? I remember a shirt story once back in high school. In it, a professor dude invents a machine that allows him to hear sounds outside our normal hearing spectrum. He discovers that when plants are hurt, eg cut, pulled, chop, they emit a high pitch sounding noise akin to a song of the siren. It makes for some adequate fiction reading, and excite the imagination.

I presented this case to my girlfriend, who is a vegetarian by religion, and by extension, compassion. I argued that it is just as cruel to eat veggies because they're organisms as well. The fact that they can't express pain does not make the act less cruel. To which she replied - the regeneration rate of plants far exceed those of animals, thus relieving them one of their organs would not do them any harm.

This argument, is once again, to put it bluntly, utter nonsense. Suppose we were to consume animals the way she described us consuming veggies. We cut a portion of their skin periodically to eat, let it grow back, and repeat. I'd say this is even worse than the former. It borders on torture and is, in my opinion, a form of slavery. Of course, we mostly DON'T consume plants, or anything else for that matter, like that.

What I hate most are vegetarians who use their habit as a way to exert their superior sense of moral judgment over others. I think it is childish, stupid, and misinformed. Eating an apple is akin to eating a baby calf. Eating veggies is no different than eating meat. The only difference is how it makes you feel. If you feel good about yourself jolly ho. I admire and salute you. But I hope you don't feel superior about it.

Realize it's no difference. It's how nature works. It's part of the beauty of life. It's not exactly pretty, but it has an undeniable balance and elegance to it. I stand in awe and wonder of the various nuances and laws of nature, and also how we, as humans have defied it time and time again. It's like we're this emo rebel kid who doesn't get punished cos we keep getting away with it.

I end this with a reminiscent. I asked Janet a while back why she became a vegetarian. I remember her answer to this day. I consider it truthful and honest compared to what I've heard from others. She said she became a vegetarian because she could relate to animals running around in the field. Yet there are many living things she can't relate to(plants, mussels etc) , and thats why she has no qualms about taking them as source. She's honest about it, and I might not agree with it, it comes off as something I can respect.

I wonder how many people I've offended with this article. Ima go ping it now.

Transformers.

A while back Shannaz said he could not wait for this movie to come out.

That was last year.

Now it's here and it's every bit worth the wait.

I was planning to write a review for it, until I read the review on Dark Horizons and realized it said everything i had wanted to say and said it better.

In a nutshell.

Fuckin Awesome.


It does what it sets out to do and does it RIGHT. DAMN RIGHT even. The action sequences are all brilliantly executed, with jaw-dropping special effects and the trademark Michael Bay shaky camera. The final fight between PRIME and MEGATRON is immensely satisfying. It's a roller coaster ride with just the right amount of nostalgia and modern day relevance.

This is a reimagining done right. It might not be perfect, as whatever sorry excuse it has for a script is light as a feather, and filled with plot holes to boot. But I'll be damed if those flaws make giant robot mechs crashing through skyscrapers, firing missiles and shockwaves, and beating the hell out of each other any less fun.

My only gripe is the ending, which is too deus-ex machina for my liking. It is also incredibly anti-climatic, and, as movies these days are, leaves the plot open for sequels.

Sure enough, 2 more Transformer Movies have been signed, according to wikipedia. I can't wait. Bring it on.

Go PRIME!

malaysia

As I step down from the plane and into KLIA, a familiar smell wharfs through the air. The distinct smell of Malaysian architecture, if there is such a thing. It feels me with memories and reminds me that I am, once again, home.

It's 4 months or so, but it seems alot longer than that. I've seen alot in these few months, or at least I'd like to think I have anyway. The most valuable lessons I've learned so far have little or nothing to do with the school. It's been a wild ride, and now it's only going to get wilder.

As all my friends graduate this year and begin to look for jobs, I am reminded that I still have a year to go. I have this anticipation for actually working in the industry. Everybody prepares their portfolio and everybody looks for a job. I'll be surprised if even half of my classmates end up actually working in the industry. Competition's tough, there's no denying. The oceans not too big and there are already so many fishies in the sea. I set myself some goals for this summer break. Lately I haven't been keeping my own word too much, and I regret it, but here I go and I wish myself luck.

handjob.

Work It
Make It
Do It
Makes Us
Harder
Better
Faster
Stronger
More Than
Hour
Our
Never
Ever
After
Work is
Over [x2]

Work It Harder Make It Better
Do It Faster, Makes Us stronger
More Than Ever Hour After
Our Work Is Never Over

dont.

Don't Piss me off.

Don't try to be nice.

DOn't pretend.

Don't kick me out of a bar and take away my right to party just cos you think I don't look old enough.

Don't fuckin sell me an empty box on a shelf fucking pretending to be a game.

Don't even think about it.

DOn't try not to refund me tomorrow.

Don't be not at work tomorrow when I claim my legally purchased product.

Just don't.

I've had too much shit happen to me today.

Just fuckin don't.

still looks wonky.

ideas for story again.

heh.

yay.

Today the sky was gray and cloudy.

It was gloomy and depressing.

But today it rained.

It rained quite heavily for British standards.

Now it's stopped.

I think I can see dew drops on the leaves from where I'm typing.

It's a wet, humid smell.

After the rain it's still gray.

"No clear skies today", said God.

It's damp and it's wet, but I like it.

It feels like home.

Damn I miss home.

new comic. (someone elses)

new days ahead, new promises, new hopes, new starts.


link.

Respect.

Huge repercussions.

Today marks the first time my blogging habit has bitten me back in the arse.

A while back I made a post on racism. I used real events as examples.

By some freakishly improbable twisted miracle of some sort those involved in the events I was using as my rhetoric discussion caught wind of this post and sent me this.


***
Firstly, pity the fact that you didn’t enjoy yourself with the "free meal" on Tuesday because you found our “racist” remarks offensive. But I think if this “racist” issue is something you feel strongly about, maybe you should have voiced out on the spot instead of pretending you’re ok with it or just retort with a lame “it’s hot” statement.

I will apologise if hardworking Malay asks me to, but definitely not to you.

Yes, linking the Spanish to the Malays and hence concluding they’re lazy was a racist statement.
But if your Hongkie classmate doesn’t finish his work because he was lazy and you said “you’re SO lazy.” Is that a racist statement too?
In my defense, I had never said that my flat mates were “nasty, unclean, unhygienic etc etc”.
In fact, I had always said “my flat mates are very clean and quiet.” The one with unclean, unhygienic flat mates is Rachelle.
The one thing I hate about them, actually him, was he would play football along the corridor early in the morning, and he would cook a week’s meal and stuff it all in the freezer/ fridge, leaving no space for other people to keep their stuff. People who are inconsiderate will never be tolerated, irregardless of race. So please get your facts right before you make any statements.

This, clearly a childish and stupid misunderstanding between us, but it is also a misunderstanding that I do not wish to debate any longer.
The bottom line is, do not make negative assumptions about others. It is wrong to be a racist but please don't act as if you're really THAT liberal because I do not believe there is anyone in this world who do not harbour prejudice at all. It’s just that people are not willing to admit it to themselves.

In a perfect world everyone will love one another regardless of how they look or what they do. In a perfect world, money will fall from the sky.
So please leave your cocoon and realise the world is NOT perfect.

I don’t know what tone and manner you were using while you were writing this but I do not like the way u wrote about my parents. You do not know them and definitely have no right to judge them.

And for your information, sometimes when people don’t shut up, perhaps it’s not because they do not want to, but because they just don’t want to leave a new friend out of their conversation.
***

It's understandable to defend your parents. But I don't see how anyone can take a stand for racism and bigotry. Just because that a lot of people harbor prejudice doesn't mean that we have to.

Case study:
If your parents were racist and someone else told you so, how would you react?

Yes I do harbor prejudice. I harbor prejudice against those who harbor prejudice. Does that make sense or is it just plain hypocritical?

It leaves a bitter taste in my mouth this letter, but I suppose it is fair. The evil side of me takes pride in this because it feels like I've reached people I didn't thought possible.

For me this is quite astounding. Never before has a post of mine has such huge repercussions on myself. I regret and take pride in it at the same time. It's a weird feeling.

But now I have to find somewhere else to stay for fall and winter. I suppose it is for the best.

It's a horrible time to be blind.

I'm a huge geek. But geek or not it's just painstakingly difficult not to say how fuckin cool this is.



I'm giddy with excitement. I can't wait til this thin hits the market. What a horrible time to be blind indeed. As I watched the video I'm reminded of the iPhone presentation in the beginning of the year by Steve Jobs. The difference being that the chill sen down my spine and all over my body is even more intense with this one.

Imagine the possibilities!!

For a design conscious young adult(TM) like me this is absolutely massive.

But..... it IS from Microsoft. So here's crossed fingers to no Blue screen death.

ideas ideas ideas.

Microsoft Surface

I heard some time ago that a good way to see if you have a life is to see how often your blog is updated. The two are inversely related I hear. :D

In any case I came across this this afternoon.



http://www.microsoft.com/surface/

Its like Microsoft took a look at Apple's iPhone, and said " hey that's cool, why don't we blow it up on a table and see what happens?"

The website says the ideas were conjured in 2001, but it seems suspicious right after Apple's iPhone though.

Sure the Jetpacks, flying cars and glass cities we were promised in the 70's never arrived, but this looks cool all right.

I just hope there's no blue screen death on this thing.

on racism and bigotry.

Last night my future housemate's parents were in town. He invited a number of people to dine together with his family. Me being me, I'd be hard pressed not to pass up a free meal. So I went. Despite off-schedule assignments and all.

The meal itself was alright, chinese food in western countries is just that. It's never better than the real stuff. But yeah. Halfway through the meal they started chatting, and it was about many things, but mainly about papa and mama's trip in Europe. they talked about various, nothing particularly exciting, as my tone would imply, but then they got to Spain. Short rambling about siestas, cos in spain, there's a period of time in the afternoon, for about 2 hours, where nobody opens shop. I'd never seen it, but I'd expect Barcelona at that time to be quiet, desolate, with the sound of winds singing their painfully tone deaf serenade, citing loneliness. The 2 hour lunchbreak where everyone sleeps is called a siesta.

They likened the Spanish to Malays, and citing the horrible stereotype that all Malays are lazy.

Now I can't fucking stand racism and Bigotry, so I tried to defend the Spaniards by saying that it's hot blah blah blah, but imagine my surprise, when it was the son's turn to speak, well technically he never fucking shuts up, but it was his turn, he went on about how his flatmates(coincidentally were all of south African descent) were nasty, unclean, unhygienic etc etc.

I was surprised but I realized I shouldn't be. Why?

Cos fucking 80% of the Malaysian population is racist. This skin color labelling is really, really getting on my nerves. Would it make any difference if the unclean flatmates are chinese? Or if we saw chinese teenagers loitering a bout the roadside would we fucking call them names? I'm citing the chinese as an example because I'm one, and those whom I speak about are as well.

It's been what? About 50 years since May 13. Too me it's gone on for long enough. I cringe at racist and bigotry statements. These people think it's alright, and unknowingly, they pass it on from generation to generation. It doesn't help either that the kids are too stupid to think for themselves.

I remember years ago, when I was sitting in the car with my mom. She'd come across some malay guy in a car and would say things like "malay pig!" In fact. I don't know if the malays know this or not. but in the chinese community "pig" has come to mean "malay". God knows the other races call each other in secret.

Yes hell I know the wounds of May 13 runs deep. But things going on the way they are the wound is not healing. I'd even go as far to say that the wound is splitting itself, into 3 distinct parts. Each one having a different interpretation of it. Time heals they say, but that doesn't hold true here.

You can go on and talk about how the government policies are all ethnocentric, and that Mahathir's "The Malay Dilemma" has been compared to Hitler's "Mein Kampf". Or you can be like my parents last I spoke to them "If you want to live in Malaysia, you got to accept that it has race problems"

But Accepting doesn't mean we can't change it. I believe everything starts at the individual level. We must believe, and have faith. But at times it's hard, when everyone turns their back to you. It feels like we're all backstabbing each other. But it doesn't have to be this way. Start by saying hi to your next door neighbour, help one another, be polite. Engage in friendly conversations, talk about our differences, understand each other.

Love can still foster if we let it. I almost think I'm mad for saying this, but it's been in my mind for far too long. Cowering, pupating itself, waiting for the right time, to erupt. I don't know how many people will read this. But if reading this spurs you to think, then I think I've done an adequate job. I've ranted on long enough. My blood still boils, but I think I'd stop here.

Malaysia Boleh.

Hey yah cover.

Good cover songs are few and far between, but there are are some gems out there in the flood of incessant bad music out there.

I think this is one of them.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS2PRP89eqM

Embedding is disabled, but this is an acoustic cover of hey ya originally by outkast. It's nothing short of awesome.

do yourself a favour and check it out :D

Starcraft 2, 20 things, Kenny sia, God does not exist.

If you play games and fail to see how effing MASSIVE this is you fail. Seriously. The thing's practically a national sport in korea. nuff said. link here. http://www.starcraft2.com/.

****

20 things true about the internet.

personal fave, "when in doubt, Wikipedia"


****
Yesterday I was cruising around the web when I stumbled onto this little thingy here on Kenny Sia.com

Let me just say once again, as I have in my email to kenny that I don't think he's done anything wrong. The internets is full of jokers and assholes who have WAY too much free time on their hands. I find the whole debacle rather stupid, insensitive, inane, silly, childish and stupid. Not your average kind of stupid either. The kind of stupid you can only get in the United States white house.

Not that I'm making any sort of compelling argument either, I don't see the point in debating this and I just wanted to vent some of my frustration.

In all fairness though..... wait, there is no fairnss here. It's just plain fucking stupid. I won't even try to argue it.

I sent an email to kenny and was surprised I got a reply. Nice guy he is. Sigh.

****

In other news. I got this book today. It was going for cheap, evidenced by the "half price" tag.
I don't have a great track record of finishing non-fiction books, but I'll give this one my best shot :D. DO you believe in GOD?

Ouendan 2 review.

I believe this is the first English review of 燃えろ！熱血リズム魂 押忍！闘え！応援団2. or Ouendan 2 for short. First in the world that is.

It's long awaited, it's anticipated, and it encourages touching envigorated male japanese cheerleaders to pump up losers who don't believe in their own ability.


It's quite riveting really.

Anyway if you don't know what I'm talking about then you probably don't care, don't own a nintendo DS and won't continue reading.

But if you do know, or are interested, I invite you into the weird world of Ouendan, where people are constantly confronted with seemingly insurmountable challenges, have a constant lack of faith in their own ability, and are often very dependent on the encouragement of others.

Kinda like real life once you think about it.

The concept is based on real life male cheerleaders active in japanese high schools. Yes seriously. In Japan there are male cheer squads, known as 応援団 or Ouendan. Their function, I'm lead to believe is to encourage(and by encourage I mean scream and shout with violent hand gestures) people into doing things that they thnk they can't but actually can. How noble. And how awesome it is as a concept for a game!



ANYWAY. Bear with me here, I'm no expert on videogame reviews, but every review I've ever read has spent at least one paragraph describing mechanics and systems of said games. SO here we go. You might want to skip this part if you know what to expect.

Ouendan 2's game mechanics differ very slightly from it's predecessor. Hell, they're exactly the same. Every level will feature a certain citizen of bad luck, that is confronted with said insurmountable challenge and said lack of faith. Your job, as cheer squads, or ouendan, will be to cheer for these individuals, and through your constant screaming and dancing to the often charming J-pop soundtrack, our challenged individual will either fail or succeed in his task.


Case in point. The first level features a certain uni fresh grad from the previous game. This time preparing for an interview the next morning. But alas, his mom, dad and little brother all seem to be obstructing his preparations, folding paper planes with his resume, using his certificates as notepad paper for example. In a final fit of frustration he screams for OUENDANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahem.

So as I was saying. It's up to you, the magical cheer squad who manages to always be in the right place at the right time, to save this here kid.
right place....
right time.....
right place...........
....ok thats enough.

You do this by making your cheer men dance in rhythm to the soundtrack, by hitting numbered markers that appear on the DS touchscreen. Sliding and spinning as needed. Each song is divided into several sections, and each section is representative of a certain stage, depending on how well you did in that stage, the guy you're cheering for will respond accordingly.


Here's a video to better illustrate what I'm talking about.


So there, now on with the review!

Since it's virtually identical in play style to it's predecessors, Ouendan 1 and Elite Beat Agents, the only thing that sets it apart is the song selection. So in a nutshell, it is better or worse than the first game? I'd put them on the same level, but this time around there less rock-ish tracks, which detracts from the experience if you asked me, but also less bad music compared to the other games. Though it offers nothing new, it's still a very enjoyable experience.

As you play through the game, all the songs are of a pumping up nature, that is to say they make you feel good, and this really goes well with the whole theme of the game, which is "with determination you can do anything". It's quite uplifting, and considering the story of Inis the developer behind this little masterpiece of a music game, it's very fitting.

It's almost always inspiring to see your character jump for joy at winning the national choir competition, or receiving a letter that tells him he's hired, and for a brief moment you really feel you can do anything as long as you persevere. To me personally thats a very important trait to have in life, maybe that's why I'm so enamored with this game.

Extra cheer squads to play as and extra scenes between them provides extra chances to look at the finely drawn art and the excellently designed characters. Which is always a plus. Each of the character's struggle is conveyed through manga panels, which proves to be very effective, even if they are mostly static images with minimal animation. The stories are mostly highly improbable daily challenges, although some tend to stretch the boundaries of craziness and whacked out logic, yet they all seem to tug at your heart strings in a weird, japanese humour kind of way. It's hard not to laugh at a guy that transforms into a werewolf every time he sees a round object on a date. Or at the trio of entrepreneurs that are loking to set up a corporation but have to fight off a giant catzilla. :D

Seriously. I swear I'm not making this up.

The Final Level is an absolute blast, and I won't spoil it here. But suffice to say that like the original, you're filled with this immense feeling of energy and confidence once you finally complete it. And that brings us to the next point, difficulty.

Make no mistake, this is a hard game, like a music games should be, but the payoff is also much more substantial than a normal rhythm game. Coz here, you get to see someone else succeed at something else. It's doesn't sounds as good on paper, but trust me when I say it's an immensely gratifying feeling. If you're new to this each song will take you several tries just complete, and the difficulty ramps up pretty fast. It's not as hardcore as some shmups I play, but it provides a fair amount of challenge not found in many recently released games. Several different difficulty modes provide adequate replay value, and the multiplayer will help keep this one in your DS for quite some time, assuming you've got people to play it with. :D

I don't, and that's why the multiplayer is the only mode I couldn't test out.But enough of that.

I could go on, but I think now it's quite apparent that I love this game, and will defend it with a passion if the need so arises. I don't consider it superior to the first game, but in this case more of the same is not a bad thing.

So if you're reading this, and you happen to own a DS, yes I know the odds are incredibly stacked against me, do yourself a favour and go play this. You'll feel better than if you haven't.

Til next time then.
OSU!!

The magic of thin walls

I can hear people in the room somewhere above me fucking.

sigh.

is that your final answer?

Today afternoon I booted up firefox, and discovered that my gmail notifier had a number 2 next to it.

Wow, it thought. 2 emails? it's been ages since my last one.

So the page loaded, and a minute later I was transported to my inbox. Sure enough, there were 2 messages. One was from a online adult webcam service that I playfully signed up for, and the other one was titled "TFL Lost property service".

Hot Shit.

Could this be? That I might actually get my passport back intact?

Hot Shit.

My mind went bonkers. It's like being zapped with electricity, you're thinking so fast, and yet you're not thinking at all. I swear I could feel the blood pumping in my veins.

Here is the email in it's entirety.

Dear Mr Wong

Thank you for your enquiry about Lost Property.

We are sorry to inform you that we have been unable to locate the property that was lost.

Yours sincerely

Lost Property Office
Transport for London
200 Baker Street
London NW1 5RZ
Tel: 0845 330 9882 (UK)
+44 (20) 7486 5772 (Non UK)
Fax: 020 7918 1028

www.tfl.gov.uk/lpo

Data protection: The data we hold now or in the future will be processed by Transport for London for the purpose of Lost Property administration. It may be passed to law enforcement authorities if it is considered necessary for the prevention and detection of crime, and when otherwise legally required.

Fraud: To avoid any doubt, a fraudulent lost property claim is theft.

As part of our continuing efforts to improve our services to our customers, TfL undertakes, from time to time, research aimed at identifying strengths and opportunities. We may contact you in the next few weeks via our appointed research agency, GFK NOP, in connection with your recent communication with us. If you are contacted, we would greatly appreciate your contribution to the research survey. Any information that you give would be totally confidential and you would not be identified personally. If you do not wish to be contacted for research purposes, please could you let us know.

This email has been generated by our Lost Property computer system using template “No Trace.dot”.

***********************************************************************************
The contents of the e-mail and any transmitted files are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. Transport for London hereby exclude any warranty and any liability as to the quality or accuracy of the contents of this email and any attached transmitted files. If you are not the intended recipient be advised that you have received this email in error and that any use, dissemination, forwarding, printing or copying of this email is strictly prohibited.

If you have received this email in error please notify postmaster@tfl.gov.uk.

This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept for the presence of computer viruses.
***********************************************************************************

Sure, you who are reading this aren't onr of the email's intended recipients, but who the hell cares? Sigh. Well I'll still get home somehow, or heads will roll.

Suddenly I am reminded how hard it is to believe in something when everything around you seems to be erecting a barrier, discouraging and preventing you from believing in it. But nevertheless I must succeed.

House sure don't cure his patients by thinking he was wrong, after all.