So imblogging at the top of my head while im cleaning my room, adding the finishing touches on my illustration, listening to music, chatting on msn, and all the while counting down to the 12th strike of the clock, cos thts when I'll make my call. :)
I remember a while back writing about my determination, conviction, and trust in the choice of major I have chosen at the start of this semester. Three weeks in I find the confidence that shined so brightly beginning to fade, giving rise to the feeling of regret and foolishness of my choice. Not that I'm being weak-minded of my choice, but what I'm learning here and now is not exactly what I expected myself to be learning. Storuboarding sucks, for sure, I have a more keen interest in developing images, artistic, advertisic(?) or otherwise. I wanted to develop a personal style that the others could identify with. I realized that an illustrator is the furthest thing from an artist there is .. on the artistic side of things at least. Or perhaps I'm losing confidence in the ability of my school to teach me what I wanted to learn at first, and after much contemplation decided to learn what this school teaches best, based on the things i have witnessed and observed so far.
It's weird to say this now but I find marketing strategies and consumer behavior a much more interesting topic than learning how to storyboard. But today there was a demonstration on the italic pen that krekindled my interest in the art of illustration. But if this was comics, "do I want to be the writer, the artist or the letterer?" would be a valid question to ask myself at this point.
Chinese horoscopes predicted that those under the sign of the tiger would have a very productive year, but apparently that productiveness will be met with much turbulence in convictions, beliefs and choice. At least according to what has been happening so far.
My girlfriend(i use the term loosely, cos although i suspect the chemistry between us to be real, i suspend my judgment til the time i meet her in person) will be coming here tomorrow. And I've just finished cleaning(loosely used as well) up my room, in preparation for the visit. Perhaps she will be able to shed some light on a truly frustrating situation right now.
In the end, I ask myself, what do I love more? The art of presenting or the art of creating visually stimulating images? I plan to become an artist no doubt. Recent talks and discussion with certain individuals have already convinced me that it is possible. Or perhaps I shall follow the advice of gapingvoid. I don't know. I simply don't anymore. I hate regretting choices. But something just told me that perhaps life IS about regretting choices. =/
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