Remembrence

2am. Smashing pumpkins. Having loads of shit going through my mind now. Thought that I should put down my thoughts now before I forget them.

So today has been a pretty eventful day. An friend confided in me about her feelings. This friend here, has a not-so-pretty story with me a while back. The lovey-dovey kind of story. Her confidence(?) in me pretty much shattered any hopes of me and her ever getting together, in the near OR far future. Lately it seems that fate has been smiling down on her. The same way it smiled down on me a month ago. It's a vicious cycle. This "boy-girl" thing. For some reasons I'm getting more and more secrets to keep and though I don't ever resent a good gossip, this particular one has a strange, yet expected feeling on me.

So perhaps we've become closer. But it's almost always momentarily as these things usually go. I think back about missed opportunities, forked roads and my own stupidity. Would things have been different? I guess it boils down to having a chance and then blowing it. It's taken 2 more years for fate to smile on me again, and this time I caught the smile, with yellow teeth barring my tongue.

After tonight I plan to keep it there. For as long as it will stay there. Nobody knows what treasures and traps the future might hold, but as of now... I guess I'm pretty content with what I have. I should be fucking GRATEFUL for waht I have acually. Kneel down and thank the gods a hundred times over in fact. So goodbye, o sweet memories of days gone by, perhaps I shall be visiting thee, though only as an observer, no longer a participant. And fare thee well as well(lol), old felings and emotions. I cast thee down into the bowels of mental-no-return. Never to return again(lolx2).

OH and I've switched to advertising from illustration. Test on friday. I'll not study now, I'm of to read NANA. haha.