I'm ok.

This is rather silly really.

I'm here, in my room. the block on my macbook says it's 8:26 am. But really it's 12.26am. I've become accustomed to reading local (birmingham) time using Malaysian time... that's cos I have the need to constantly know what time it is in Malaysia. That I know what time it is when my girlfriend is calling me.

I'm listening to some sappy acoustic love pop song streamed from wilson santoro I mean Santoso's blog. It's strangely fitting in accordance to how I'm feeling right now. A little sad, disappointed in myself, and a little depressed.

As I said, it's been a bumpy ride so far, and the beating, I took from my brutally honest half chinese lecturer certainly isn't doing much to help. I almost cried in the afternoon, and technically I did. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks, I desperately try to wipe them off as I made my merry way to the bus stop. I continued to be drenched in my own pitiful sorrow for the remainder of the journey home.

The glass door in front my flat showed me my own teary, watery eyes. I made my way into my room, and though I technically didn't cry, because I swallowed all the tears with even more sappy John Mayer songs.

I've been disappointed in myself because someone else was. Apparently it was quite a big disappointment for the guy, I could tell. He must've expected too much from me, or what he expected I failed to do. Or something. I don't know. Not anymore. Something like this happened on the 2nd week of class as well. I told myself the only way to stop this was to do work and not disappoint anyone next week. And yet I fail.

I'm emo. In case you haven't noticed.

I've got some ways to combat emoism. plans will be carried out this week. I've taken worse beatings than this. I doubt what I got today was worse than what Michelle gave me on the Trans-ormers presentation day. Or Janet's classic " Now that is bullshit presentation!"

My faults seem to be that I can't come up with arguments while being slammed at. Now that is a skill I would kill to have. Thoughts and ideas come later, and I strengthen myself with them.

I think I'm ok now.

least I'm not swallowing tears no more. :

Find my voice back. And slam back.... disagree or something. grow a backbone.

no comics for the time being. it's much too much of a hassle for me to post them, plus I got no time to do them anyway...

but I think I'll be posting ideas here....

anyone reading feel free to please give constructive feedback. :]
thank you.