jasmine

I ran out of green tea.
SO I went to tesco to restcok.

I bought jasmine green tea instead.

50 packs no less.

Arghhhhh.

Fuckin jaszmine.

haha

Sick Sick SIck SICK!!!! flaming dick!!!!!!! behold!!!!!!!! my dick of eternal flame!!!Just classic.

No shotgun's gonna save you now bitch.

Yeah, I'm feeling too bored. Thanks to Ko for the images.

friendster trends.

IT's been a while since I did anything on friendster. TOo many annoying trends these days. What with one sentecne testis(haha) and "lets add everyone who's viewed my profile" and other such bullshit.

So it kinda surprising to receive 2 honest to god testimonials today. haha. Why am I blogging this? I don't know. I can't explain. It feels like something that I should remember perhaps. Or perhaps it restored my faith in friendster or whatever. But it's always fun to receive and approve GOOD testimonials.

Those that add spice and character to your profile. NOt those happy birthday i miss you shut the fuck up kinds. :)

Been pwning loads of people lately. It's taken a long time but I finally dont feel like an amatuer in dota anymore . XD.

Anyway. Very lagging behind in work
should start now.
Ah. Fuck. This. Laziness.

Fuckin. hell.

START!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *thump*

Im so dry. drained and dry. not as in water but as in mentally. that or i'm not trying hard enough. I seriously hope its the former. cos im lazy as hell now. sigh.

So our assignment was to do a CV. curriculum vitae. A creatice one. One that isnt supposed to be a piece of paper but in fact a 3d object. And this started what? 5 weeks ago? and now.... I still don't have a concrete idea. it's 2 weeks to submission and i Don't have an idea! or ideas. or whatever. I just can't think anymore :).

My first "good" idea was a coconut.


Coz coconuts, as most self-respecting 13 yr old will tell you, are round, delicious, and full of water which is good for you. And also they're among the most useful plants around. Everything from the leaves, to the trunk, to even every part of the fruit has a use of some sort. Though some of those uses aren't as popular as it was oh say.. a few hundred years ago...(i.e leaves as roofs for houses). It remains, nontheless, a plant of many uses.

And then I had the idea of using a magnet to represent myself. The idea was that a magnet is asociated with pulling stuff together. So in this case "stuff" as it would be are people, ideas, etc. SO i find that a rather interesting prospect, though in retrospect it does not seem to be a very good idea. So later I abstracted the coconut and came up with a swiss-army knife instead. It is, I think a much better representation of versatality and resourcefulness, though I did had an idea of a sculpture with muliple hands stucking out of it... But i suspect it will not be a hit with my creative director :).

So now I have......

Resourcefulness + attraction of ideas

I'm missing something. But what?
Tutorial's tomorrow and I still have time to blog. hahahahaha.

IN other subjects, I've chosen leetspeak as a topic for my design research case study endeavor. Interesting, to say the least. But how would I tackle the problem?

Problematic for sure :)

Work work work.

4$$!gN?/\/\3n+5 pwN$njoo n00b.

Try.

This shit is getting tiring.
It's not even my problem.
Why the fuck do I care so much?
I tell myself it's because i'm afraid for her.
I've been telling myself that for days.

Do I really?
Or am I just selfish and stupid?
This is fucking fire we're playing with here.
and not just embers either.
This is forest fire potential shit.

Saying that she needs to get burned is so cruel.
I don't want it to come to that.
Fucking hell.
I shouldn't even care.
But i can't stop myself.

I dont think its a good idea.
I really don't.
But the hole's a little too deep already.
And there's always a chance that she WON'T get burned.

What the fuck. What the fuck man.
I should be worrying about other shit.
But I'm not.

Tis a most troubling situation.
I don't see the light at the end of tunnel.

I still turn the pages with great interest.
But I can't be just an observer.
Though intervention doesn't exactly seem like it's going to help.
I still turn the fucking pages.
I turn it with fear and trepidation.

Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you got.

I forgot who said that, but it seems like an appropriate quote to insert here.
And if you're reading this.
Note that this applies to both you and me.

Maybe you DO need to get burned.
would it make you feel better if I didn't care?

random thoughts

I did love.
I do Loves.

Free will is an illusion.
I follow the story of my life with great interest.
A book of unknown origins.
Flipping the pages full of sand and dirt.
Unbeknownst by anyone.

A Tale draws forth, form the rust of it's pages.
An interesting tale for sure.
But What is this?
This tale of old gods and old emotions?

Strikes a string, it's note rings true.
Doth resonate, with an ancient melody.

A tale springs forth, from the edges of my book.
And I say to myself.

"these are tiring times, indeed."

This tale I will follow.
With great interest,
ever hollow.

I use bit torrent for academic research.
How bout u?

Remembrence

2am. Smashing pumpkins. Having loads of shit going through my mind now. Thought that I should put down my thoughts now before I forget them.

So today has been a pretty eventful day. An friend confided in me about her feelings. This friend here, has a not-so-pretty story with me a while back. The lovey-dovey kind of story. Her confidence(?) in me pretty much shattered any hopes of me and her ever getting together, in the near OR far future. Lately it seems that fate has been smiling down on her. The same way it smiled down on me a month ago. It's a vicious cycle. This "boy-girl" thing. For some reasons I'm getting more and more secrets to keep and though I don't ever resent a good gossip, this particular one has a strange, yet expected feeling on me.

So perhaps we've become closer. But it's almost always momentarily as these things usually go. I think back about missed opportunities, forked roads and my own stupidity. Would things have been different? I guess it boils down to having a chance and then blowing it. It's taken 2 more years for fate to smile on me again, and this time I caught the smile, with yellow teeth barring my tongue.

After tonight I plan to keep it there. For as long as it will stay there. Nobody knows what treasures and traps the future might hold, but as of now... I guess I'm pretty content with what I have. I should be fucking GRATEFUL for waht I have acually. Kneel down and thank the gods a hundred times over in fact. So goodbye, o sweet memories of days gone by, perhaps I shall be visiting thee, though only as an observer, no longer a participant. And fare thee well as well(lol), old felings and emotions. I cast thee down into the bowels of mental-no-return. Never to return again(lolx2).

OH and I've switched to advertising from illustration. Test on friday. I'll not study now, I'm of to read NANA. haha.

Turbulence is the name of the game for his week.

So imblogging at the top of my head while im cleaning my room, adding the finishing touches on my illustration, listening to music, chatting on msn, and all the while counting down to the 12th strike of the clock, cos thts when I'll make my call. :)

I remember a while back writing about my determination, conviction, and trust in the choice of major I have chosen at the start of this semester. Three weeks in I find the confidence that shined so brightly beginning to fade, giving rise to the feeling of regret and foolishness of my choice. Not that I'm being weak-minded of my choice, but what I'm learning here and now is not exactly what I expected myself to be learning. Storuboarding sucks, for sure, I have a more keen interest in developing images, artistic, advertisic(?) or otherwise. I wanted to develop a personal style that the others could identify with. I realized that an illustrator is the furthest thing from an artist there is .. on the artistic side of things at least. Or perhaps I'm losing confidence in the ability of my school to teach me what I wanted to learn at first, and after much contemplation decided to learn what this school teaches best, based on the things i have witnessed and observed so far.

It's weird to say this now but I find marketing strategies and consumer behavior a much more interesting topic than learning how to storyboard. But today there was a demonstration on the italic pen that krekindled my interest in the art of illustration. But if this was comics, "do I want to be the writer, the artist or the letterer?" would be a valid question to ask myself at this point.

Chinese horoscopes predicted that those under the sign of the tiger would have a very productive year, but apparently that productiveness will be met with much turbulence in convictions, beliefs and choice. At least according to what has been happening so far.

My girlfriend(i use the term loosely, cos although i suspect the chemistry between us to be real, i suspend my judgment til the time i meet her in person) will be coming here tomorrow. And I've just finished cleaning(loosely used as well) up my room, in preparation for the visit. Perhaps she will be able to shed some light on a truly frustrating situation right now.

In the end, I ask myself, what do I love more? The art of presenting or the art of creating visually stimulating images? I plan to become an artist no doubt. Recent talks and discussion with certain individuals have already convinced me that it is possible. Or perhaps I shall follow the advice of gapingvoid. I don't know. I simply don't anymore. I hate regretting choices. But something just told me that perhaps life IS about regretting choices. =/