daily writing: something awful and pointless.

Being aware and conscious is a deeply strange and wonderful feeling to me. The evolution of consciousness fascinates me, and our awareness of who we are and what everything around us are and what it means to us are things that I find infinitely interesting and I don't think I will ever stop wondering about it.

Cultural awareness then, seems small in the grand scale of things.

In reading "Outliers" by Mr. Gladwell, I'm amazed by his ability to talk about cultural differences and stereotypes without sounding the least insulting or otherwise. I've always had a fear of offending people, mainly because I'm so damn good at it, I tend to piss off the wrong people. But that's besides the point. In his book Gladwell discusses the importance of cultural legacy; how where our ancestors grew up, how they were brought up and what they did for a living is more important in understanding our own behaviour then we initially thought.

This got me thinking about my own "Legacies" and how it is significant to what I do now.

Asian societies in general have a very high "power distance index",which basically means we respect those in power a lot more than cultures with a low PDI.

Example, my housemates are all older than me by 4 or 3 years. Thus I feel I'm somewhat in a subservient position whenever I have a discussion with them. I tend to mitigate my speeches, end up being very diplomatic, and sometimes I disgust myself how indecisive and insecure I end up sounding. Regardless of whether or not I may feel that way. I may think they're dicks sometimes but I don't come out and say it.

Am I being nice or am I just a pussy? Am I wrong for recognizing as maturity?

In a creative team, what would this mean?

If I am unable to see my partner as a peer, it's probably going to be difficult working with him.

Somehow it feels right for me to be acting this way, because whenever I try to overstep these boundaries I end up sounding like a prick.

After all these years, I still can't say what I mean without pissing someone off. Maybe it's a matter of how one views any given subject. Like being optimistic. I don't know.

*sigh*

*sigh*

*sigh*

Life is a strange conundrum. How can something so beautiful be so frustrating at the same time?