A little moment in time.

Every evening I look out my window and I just stare, for a few seconds, to admire the sky.

For a moment, everyday, I say my peace with the great and powerful force that is the sky.

The clouds float slowly by, but here they are nary clouds, whiffs of water vapor, trails of smoky whites maybe, but seldom clouds.

Clouds are different altogether, the magnificence, the sense of scale, the awe when one gets simply by looking at them.

I find it calming.

For a little moment in time I run away, from the world, from the pressures I put on myself on creating a good piece of work, responsibilities as a son, a boyfriend, a student, as a human being.

For just just one tiny window of time everyday, I break social boundaries and definitions of what it is to be human. When I do that I let myself sink into the vastness, the insignificance of it all. But yet we keep doing whatever it is we do everyday.

I suppose it keeps us sane, and in a way boundaries, restrictions, rules and laws have been ingrained into our world so deeply that if we cease to follow them we collapse.

Call me childish, call me silly, stupid, and immature, but I live for little moments like these, moments where I can truly escape, be free, and roam.

Just a few moments everyday.

It's not too much to ask is it?

its called fan-art.

The losing.

I'm back from London after 4 days, and it was great. I enjoyed my time there immensely, I got to meet 2 very nice guys who accompanied me for the second half of my 4 day trip, and became pretty good friends with them. I got to see all the things about London that I only read about previously. Like London Bridge, or Tower Bridge, or Big Ben, Buckingham and so forth. It was a nice trip and I'd like to do it again another time.

But the trip is not why I'm here now. It was great, but it's a story for another time. The time that is now, the present, is for far more serious things. Losing things, or lost things, to be exact.

waking up today, about to leave for school, I noticed that something was amiss. I didn't know what exactly, but suddenly I had the urge to look at my passport, since it is the single most important thing that I have in my possession. It's just that feeling, that if you don't get a good look at it you'll spent the rest of the day thinking about it. I didn't want that.

I turned my room upside down, my bag inside out, but no passport. That's when I started to panic, but seeing I had no choice, I left for school, determined that it would show up in my room eventually.

It's 0010 in the morning, more than 12 hours since I had that thought, and still it has yet to show up. I've made calls though, about 3 in the afternoon I decided that I'm not going to see it appearing in my room short of some miracle.

All I can do now is pray, and hope, and believe, and believe very firmly, I might add, that the single most important thing that was in my possession will return to me before I get deported as an illegal immigrant or something.

All we have to do is believe, and that which we desire, shall come.

I am the leaf floating on the wind.

That which floats down the river.

I am the Salmon going upstream.

I brave the rocks and the current.

We believe that which is said to be impossible.

That makes us mighty.

House/Serenity Firefly/unexpected gift.

So I just finished watching house episode 19 season 3, and boy did I enjoy it. Though some people might not agree with me,(hint hint..)
I watch house for soap opera 1st, medicine second. Ever since I started watching house during 95% I've been hooked and now my only regret is that... wait .. I have no regrets. I enjoyed every single episode mostly because of the characterization of House - as an arrogant sonnuvabitch modern day doctor version of sherlock holmes - and bad medicine doesn't really bother me.

In fact I remember asking a medicine school friend "hey what's an oncologist?".

I remember his response being something like "OMG WTF you've been watching house all this time and you didn't KNOE???".

Well not EXACTLY like that obviously, gotta give the guy some credit for not making feel too much like an idiot for not knowing the medical term ( he claims it's a general term) for "cancer specialist". ( Now thats a general term)

I've also watched Serenity lately and hot damn that was a good movie.


Rated no.1 sci-fi film of all time? oh yeah agreed totally. Firefly the most undeservingly canceled tv-series of recent memory? yeah probably. As in will probably agree after I watch the series. Seriously serenity and firefly have been written about so many times it's not even funny anymore. Anyone interested do yourself a favor and check out the show(s).

----

On a completely unrelated note, the other day I was walking around, and I walked into the school library, wanting to print out my booking confirmation for the London accommodation that I had booked. (very bad sentence back there)

I was quite surprised that the black and white printing services on offer was not free. In factit's quite obnoxious. Pretty much like the LKW computer room printing service, except even more so. Or maybe not. Fact is that it wasn't free, and I couldn't dump coins into it to make it print. I had to buy a printing card, which was a white long slender piece of plastic shit and then put money on it before I can print.

So I aksed around, and made my way to the machine which dispenses white long slender plastic pieces of shit and searched my pockets for change.

It needed 50pence for a blank card, and more for printing credit. These University blokes sure know how to rip someone off. I thought. Anyway I searched my pockets and all I had was 50p.

Damn. I remember feeling disheartened, and disappointed, and angry maybe, but nevertheless I walked away, thinking of coming out again the next day just to do this... or rather thinking that I don't want to do this, but I have to. Yes I'm lazy, and also because it's windy and cold.

As I was walking out the door, a black british african guy said to me " it's not working?"

" no, I just don't have enough change for the machine since..." then I rambled on and somewhere in the middle he said "Oh", and pulled out some coins, one pound gold nuggets no less, and showed them to me.
They're worth RM7 damnit!

Of course I was stunned, so I in turn took out my wallet and flashed my bling out a ten pound note and said "well this is all I have.."

I was of course, assuming that he offered to change my bigger note for some smaller coins, and I reacted accordingly, but apparently that was not the case.

"How much do you need?"
"10p, or 20p..."

He thrust a 50p coin in my direction and still stunned, I said

".........uhh.... umm... thank you?"

It caught me completely off guard and for me it was an extremely awkward moment, I even went so far to ask him if there was anything I could do to make it up to him. Of course in true gentlemanly fashion he brushed me off and said he just wanted to help.

I thanked him. Twice. The second time on my way out. I think that creeped him out a little. Or maybe not. In any case that really made my day. It wasn't a bar of chocolate, but it certainly made me smile all the way back to the dorm room. I regret for not having asked his name and I feel like I haven't thanked him properly, but I hope he hears this, one way or another.

This marks the first time someone has been nice to me voluntarily since I'm here. What can I say? It makes me smile just thinking about it.

Yeah it IS good knowing that well meaning people still exist.

WHEW this is getting really long. I should be getting to sleep now, tomorrow's a big trip to london. nights.

Bookie.

I've just booked myself a 3 night stay at one of the hostels in london.

I'm trembling with excitement oh yes I am....

It'll be my first trip traveeling alone... in a city where I know no one. This is a huge step for me... I feel like I've really outdone myself now.

I can't seem to contain my excitement...

oh dear.

haha.

And I haven't even bought tickets or anything to London yet.... nor packed nor planned any aspect of my trip.

But I'll guess I still have time. It seems like time is moving so slowly. hehe.

It's like having a earthquake inside your body. I guess now I understand where the phrase 'trembling with excitement comes from'.

I got 4 days.... Here i go.

Look out LONDON. Here I come.

funny.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

hey yuan cahng. hope ur reading this lol.

back back bcak

last published 17th of febuary. Thats more than one month! oh dear I've gotten lazy on blogging....
but now... now. noW!

Now that I have access to my blog, my email, and everthing else the stupid proxy initially denied me, I'm gonna blog, email and do whatever til the sun comes up, goes down, comes up, and finally explodes and turns into a white dwarf star!

Dear ABILITY TO BLOG.

You do not know how mch I've missed you, how I used to think while idle, "hmm, that would be an interesting thing to blog about." or " I MUST write about this"

But now that you're back, safely cradles in my arms, and awaiting the my next command, we shall resume this long delayed, much demanded, plenty needed trip down, down down into the dark corners of my mind where thoughts that no one should bear witness to reside.

It is time.... mwahahahahahahahahaahhaahahaha!

Take!
That!

Stupid!

Proxy!