Graduating

Should I feel proud? Should I be prideful? Yesterday I was the last one to be called up to receive the certificate for completion of training. Janet said she would save the best for last. I went up, I never did knew how to handle this sort of situation. When Janet asked for acknowledgment only CJ stood up, considering everyone else got at least 2, I think it was fair for me to be a little paranoid.

Then Peter came around, I talked to him and he told me I aced it. Apparently being called in last means you got the best grades or got the best marks or comments or something. I don't know. I honestly want to believe that everybody's takeout form this training was different. Everybody's experiences are unique, but being bestowed upon an honor like that... made me feel proud.

Sometimes I don't know how to keep little critters down and steady. They just jump up. Like they infiltrated the outside world without me knowing or some thing or other. Guess I couldn't hide it too well.

Wrote something yesterday morning before graduation.... wanted to post it up but the internet connection failed. Lost that post forever... I think it was something about anticipation or something. Didn't think it was that important. The post that never was. GJ tmnet.

Also, yesterday night I realized how utterly immature and childish and .... what's the word? ....... ahh.... Un-sensitive some of my words and actions were. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to Peter... I know that if he doesn't read this all will be in vain... but I'm too chicken I guess to say it out loud or proclaim it like a doomsday naysayer on the street. But I apologize for anything that I might have said yesterday that offended you, in any way possible.... because I can't help but feeling that I did, as I was lying on my bed looking sideways to the walls and thinking back on the night.

I think I'll copy and paste this to your blog... Just in case you don't see this.

But I'm Sorry.