I am a steel grating.

MY project for school. an assignment called emphatic projection.

As the clanging sounds of cold steel get louder and louder I relax myself. I tell myself that it's nothing. I try to calm myself down and I try to breathe. I close my eyes and I cross my heart, hope that I don't die.

Dear God I am so afraid.

Metal collides with metal as I feel the insides of my bossom turn, and submit, to the power of another. The feel of cold steel, pushing my guts, my essence, my soul to do what it refuses to, the process is quick, but it feels like the longest 3 seconds of my life. Then with a deffiant click, it is done. part 1, the appetizer, the overture. Then comes the building up of tension, my body is swung, I don't know how, or why, I just feel it. Creaking metal. And slam. My joints ache and writhe, I am too old for this. The 2nd part, and the ending, yet again clanging metal, I feel it again, the force of a will not of mine, touching me, caressing me, telling me it's all alright, sowing the seeds of hope that this time, it will not hurt.

Lies.

It turns, and it hurts. It hurts so bad. It hurts to feel used, to feel like a pawn whose only purpose, is to die. I feel my guts, with even more clarity this time, being turned again. This time in the reverse direction. The yang to the yin, black to white, left to right. Clanging metal, and I a feeling of relief washes over me, as the sword is sheethed again, and the victim, like loki bound at the centre of the earth after the bowl of poison has been poured unto him, awaits his fate, and though he knows how it will happen, for everytime it happens it is indifferent, he does not know when it will happen. He is a prosoner bound. Much... nay, exactly like me. Bond to the threads of his(my) fate, never to escape, never to defy, only pure obedience, for that is what the world expects of him(me) and we act, as it expects us to.


One might call this is torture, I call it the purpose of life.

I am a steel grating.

It is dawn now. I feel it. The sunrise, the warmth, a new day. but indifferent for it was a new day yesterday the day before tha, and the day before that the day before that. Dawn's twilight, darkness of Night. The concept of time is irrelevant to me. It is a new day, but it is also an old day. It is a day that has happened in the past, and it matters not to me. Yet again I hear the clanging of metal. I know my fate, I know the future, I know it is now. But no, today it seems, is slightly different than yesterday. I hear a new sound, less crisp, less defined, slightly more blunt, and a little more... organic. It is of a different element. And for the first time in my existence, I felt hope.

It spoke to me. It said hi. I was silent. I did not know how to react. This is all very, very new to me. And before I had a chance to realize that I have acted wrongly, it read my thoughts and responded accordingly. It said that it was a keychain. I was puzzled. I have never heard of such a thing. Previously I knew of me, the keys, and the pain. That was my life. Everyone's life. The world, the Universe. or so I thought. I expressed my views on this.

"keychain" chuckled humorously.I grew frustrated at this. It explained that it was normal for a newborn to feel and think that way. It spoke as if it saw through me, saw through my life. I was not happy at this. it then called out to the other members of it's entourage. The keys. The ones that caused the pain. They responded. Another new one! we gotta lighten im up! This one's even more uptight then the previous one!

Previous one? There are more of me? I pondered at the statement and wondered about wether this is true or not. For the first time I was aware that there maybe other enitites about me. Questions builded up. Curiousity raged in my mind, so many questions, so little time, and the pain is coming.

Sensing and acknowledging our lack of time, the keys and keychain instructed me to open my senses, take my mind away from the pain, use the pain as a gateway, to feel for other worlds, other beings, other planes. TO feel.

And here it comes. That which defined my existence(or so I thought), the only one reason I am here and my only salvation from the mundane. I stepped on the pain, leaping up, transcending it, feeling, light, happy, orgasmic. I felt the world. THe world was no longer made up of keys and locks and steel, I felt the planet, the air he water, and the wood. I felt the life. The balance and for the first time in my existenceI Im happy. I floated in the Sky for what seemed like an eternity, but I came back down, back in the lock back in my world.

No, this wasn't my world anymore, I have been shown the truth. Liberated, Freed, enlightened. I was.. something. A pice of a larger puzzle, and I liked it. To know that you are not the centre of misery, to transcend misery and pain, to overstep the boundary that defined my life, to break my horizon. I was broken, and remade, into what I am supposed to be.

I am a steel grating.