It's been a while.
It's not that I haven't been writing, but work catches up.
I still think about her, but not as much, and as expected, it doesn't hurt as much anymore.
I'm still halfway between relief and sadness.
I still dream about her, and it does still sting when I think about her.
I never knew something so short could hurt so bad.
A friend asked my what I learned from all this.
Honestly? I still don't quite know.
Don't go out with older women? Don't fall so hard so fast? Don't be an idiot? Or maybe don't open your heart?
I'm not sure what I can learn from this.
Not yet.
She texted me today, basically saying she was fine if we went for coffee.
Far cry from what she sad a few weeks ago.
It's all very weird.
So I find myself thinking about her again, and I find myself here, 4 in the morning, really should be sleeping because I got work tomorrow.
I don't know what the future holds, but I've spilled my blood guts these few weeks.
Figuratively speaking.
It can't be as bad as that 2nd week of July. It just can't.
So with that I look forward with eyes a tad more hopeful.
:)
It'll keep getting better.
ReplyDeletePromise.
And there are millions of other people out there. There's bound to be someone else that you'll love, and that will love you. :)
<3 kiersten
Sure, but I"m beginning to realise that none of them will be her.
ReplyDeleteNo, they won't. But she was most likely not the right one for you if it never worked out in the end. I'm sorry...that sounds bad right now. But you will find someone else, and they don't need to be her. They'll be better for YOU, and perhaps she'll find someone better for her. It doesn't make either of you bad people. :-/
ReplyDelete<3 kiersten
mmhmm :)
ReplyDeleteThanks.