The Coffeeshop expedition

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Change. The only constant.(TM p.gan)

I've been meaning to fix up the template for ages already. It looked awful in my opinion. Ay least now it isn't such an eyesore I guess. Or it could be worse. But i like this one, and the blog needed a facelift anyway. so here we are.

Just been back from a 4day trip to kelantan. You could say I was in a minor culture shock fir the time that I was there. I wanted to blog about it, but I had bigger things in mind. I wrote up a script for a 3 page comic while I was there. I thought of posting up what I wrote here, but decided against it. It is after all, an instrument to dispel the magic of the final 3 pages that(I hope) will be finished by the end of the week. The first page's draft and layout sketch is mostly done... don't think I'll post again till I have the full thing.

SO there we go. A little hiatus... but for a good reason. I hope what I come up with at the end of the week is worthy of my expectations. hehe.

jw out.

17/6/06

Practicality needs to be much, much more prevalent in our lives.

macbook pro.

feels weird. blogging on a mac. I have to say, 1st time owning a mac, it feels pretty darn slick, alot better than what i initially expected it to be.

as i was driving home from kl today, i thought about what to blog about, upon realizing that i really had quite some things to say, but are all unrelated and disjointed, i decided that i would draw up a few stupid pictures, accompany them with some horrible handwriting, and post them up here.

damn this is fun.

so there kat, new comic like you wanted.:P

Graduating

Should I feel proud? Should I be prideful? Yesterday I was the last one to be called up to receive the certificate for completion of training. Janet said she would save the best for last. I went up, I never did knew how to handle this sort of situation. When Janet asked for acknowledgment only CJ stood up, considering everyone else got at least 2, I think it was fair for me to be a little paranoid.

Then Peter came around, I talked to him and he told me I aced it. Apparently being called in last means you got the best grades or got the best marks or comments or something. I don't know. I honestly want to believe that everybody's takeout form this training was different. Everybody's experiences are unique, but being bestowed upon an honor like that... made me feel proud.

Sometimes I don't know how to keep little critters down and steady. They just jump up. Like they infiltrated the outside world without me knowing or some thing or other. Guess I couldn't hide it too well.

Wrote something yesterday morning before graduation.... wanted to post it up but the internet connection failed. Lost that post forever... I think it was something about anticipation or something. Didn't think it was that important. The post that never was. GJ tmnet.

Also, yesterday night I realized how utterly immature and childish and .... what's the word? ....... ahh.... Un-sensitive some of my words and actions were. I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to Peter... I know that if he doesn't read this all will be in vain... but I'm too chicken I guess to say it out loud or proclaim it like a doomsday naysayer on the street. But I apologize for anything that I might have said yesterday that offended you, in any way possible.... because I can't help but feeling that I did, as I was lying on my bed looking sideways to the walls and thinking back on the night.

I think I'll copy and paste this to your blog... Just in case you don't see this.

But I'm Sorry.

eyes and pieces.

Thinking back now, I find emotions to be weird things. It's like there's a these little gremlins and squishy things that live inside of us, and most of the time we want to keep them down, keep them hidden, because more often than not letting these little buggers come out will compromise a lot of things that we try to do.

But pressure builds up and eventually they'll have to come out.

My little critters pushed themselves to come out a few days ago.

They came. hard.

and I suppose I was knocked off my feet.

I couldn't speak, couldn't move, all I did was sit there, fluids flowing out of my nose and eyes. Making sounds I haven't made for a long time. Inside me, the earth shook and typhoons blew as the mountains i built with uneven stones came crashing down, destroying everything in it's wake, paving the land for a better, fresher, plan for not just mountains, but ...... well it's banjaran in malay, i'll need a few minutes to find out what the word is in english.( All I found was mountain range, I'm sure there's a better word for it, wish someone would let me know :P) But basically it's alot and alot of hills and valleys and mountains and peaks and maybe even slip in a grand canyon or two.


I feel a little better now, thanks to that. I'm just now picking up the first pieces of what I believe will be a construction of magnificent proportions.

It's amazing how powerful these things can be.

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" At least once every week. And by "once every week," I really mean "when I get a chance." And by "when I get a chance," I really mean never. " - maddox.

I said tomorrow. But the concept of tomorrow is really subjective isn't it? tomorrow on earth is different than tomorrow on mars, and even if the whole universe decided to follow on earth's tomorrow? There's also the problem of time being not necessary absolute right? Since every space and every piece of matter will have it's own time and time for everything flows differently.

Yes I'm just covering my ass for not posting another "webcomic" last week. heheh.

new start

Some weeks ago i signed up for and attended 95% training's creatives in progress.

Some weeks ago I had never heard of the words "advertising strategy" or "psychographic moodboard"

I knew not the meaning of Advertising.

Some weeks ago I thought it was going to be a fun thing.

Some weeks ago I never knew that it was going to turn out the way it was.

Some weeks ago I had very different views on life.

Some weeks ago I knew not the meaning of fear.

Some weeks ago I knew not the meaning of fun.

Some weeks ago I didn't exactly know who I was.

Some weeks ago I thought I was a geek and that if I mentioned that I was currently addicted to Civilization 4 or Xenosaga episode 3 or Final Fantasy XII I would get looks and I would be judged and criticized.

Some weeks ago I hadn't met Janet.

Some weeks ago I hadn't met Peter.

Some weeks ago I hadn't met Summer.

Today is the 23rd of December. 2 days to Christmas, or to the politically correct people Today would be the 24th. Christmas Eve, But as far as I'm concerned today isn't the morrow until I've slept and wake up and see the rising sun.

Today is the day I say thanks, and acknowledge, and be honest about this. I love everyone I've met in the past 6 weeks. Thank you all for coming into my life.

the pivot.

I'm so awesome. new one coming tomorrow.

Religion

Quite some time ago i discovered George Carlin. The comedian. The funny one, the athiest. HE had some particularly strong views about religion and god, and how it's a big load of bullshit. At that time I didn't thought much of it. I thought it was hilarious. I thought he was a comical genious to be able to present as scuh. His "invisible man in the sky" routine I was a big fan of.

Today I discovered Richard Dawkins. Or rediscovered I should say. Upon hearing the name I thought it was familiar. I wondered to myself, where have I heard this name before? His documentary, "the root of all evil" was on youtube, and like any other naive college student with a brain like a sponge, I clicked on it wihout hesitation. It would be some time before I realized that the very first time I heard or read about the name was a few years ago, when I had just finished MetalGearSolid2 and was reading the ending analysis to makesense of what many would agree to be a very confusing piece of interactive narrative. He was the author of "the selfish gene" and while I had not given it much thought then, I am now considering hunting for the book. According to what I know the selfish gene talks about evolution, not evolution biologically but culturally. The process of cultural evolution. memes and such.

Here he was on youtube discussing what he thought to be the root of all evil on earth. Religion.. Mind that it is not the first time that Richard Dawkins has tried to prove religion as uneccessary in the modern world. He did so once before in "the God delusion" or something like that. But recent events. Mainly the Sept 11th attacks and the g9 bombing and the war on Iraq has given him new ammunition to fuel his argument. As it stands, it is very persuasive and definately entertaining.

In his 2 part documentary he examines how religion can effect the logical and rational way of thinking, how it affects children if they were educated from a young age to believe because they were told to believe, how religious fanaticism has spawned more than it's fair share of death and suffering, and how it ultimately impedes the progress of mankind. Perhaps one could liken religion to the cultural revolution of China by Mao Tze Dong in the mid-20th century, if taking Mr. Dawkin's opinion to the word. Nevertheless, it remains interesting this battle between scince and religion, in a way to me it is much like the ongoing battle between Christianity and Islam, fundamentally speaking. Though clearly it is of a different stature.

Before this I haven't given it much thought, but both his documentaries reflect too much of my own opinion for me to ignore it. We as Malaysians have this "tak-apa" attitude. I think it is inherent in all of us, it is a scar caused not by various factors and a trait that was built on bloodshed, ethnocentricity and the delusion of harmony. What we are doing in effect is pressure cooking ourselves again. In the past the time bomb exploded. It would be known in history books as the May 13th incident. In the name of harmony our lips were sealed, our thoughts and opinions kept on lids. As said by my lecturer some weeks ago, "it's not something to talk about, something to debate or to question" The cultural wound it has inflicted upon our society is too great. Unfathomable. The government is run by fear, pride and racism. Fear of racist outbreaks once again, - and judging by the rate this country has progressed mentally, it is certainly possible - pride that their allged homeland will be taken over by foreigners, and the underlying concept of all the government policies - racism - . The citizens, even my parents, have succumbed to this fact and decided that there is nothing that we can do about it and our best bet is to hope that our children get sent overseas and hopefully the government policies will not be as strict there, although as sweet as it may sound it is of course, as any man opr woman with a sound mind will tell you, wishful thinking.

It really is hard to be patriotic when your country treats you like shit. for people like us, I think it's sad. We are too far away from our mhtherland to discern ourselves as of the same nation. My grandfather is from China, but I am obviously not of the same cultural group as my grandfather. We had severely different views and opinions on things in the country. We play the cards we are dealt. And the cards we are dealt are shitty cards indeed. If this were a game os scrabble we've had Qs and Zs and Ks and Xs but no vowels. Yet still we paly, because we don't have any other choice. We need to forge a better future for tomorrow, for our children, but then reality sets in and we realize, no matter how hard we try, we're not going to get promoted even if we work our asses off in social service, the majority of us are never going to be able to go to a government University, and our rights as citizens will suck. Maybe someone with a clear heart will stand up for us. Maybe in another 50 years it'll be different, but then again, maybe not.

Here's the video that sparked the insanely long post. Richard Dawkins, the root of all evil. on youtube. I hope it is as insightful to you as it was to me. And I still haven't mentioned that I've decided that I'll be an athiest form now on. damn that was long. hope it was an interesting read to anyone who would read it.