daily wrongness: You all know that shit weren't true.

Daddy was just fuckin' wiv you.

Now mommy's gonna do the same.

With a strap on.

The title of this blog post is moot.

PO.
A sci-fi story of international intrigue staring an orthodox Jew whose main gripes(besides keeping his faith in his line of work) is how does he save the world by falling in love with the main villianess by pretending to fall in love with her but in actuality has already fallen heads over heels for the evil countess.

PO.
A cigarette so heavy that one puff will kill you.

PO.
Express unsatisfactory feelings towards customer service reps by dressing up as Jason and threatening to slice their faces off every time a patronizing answer is given.

PO.
A cleaver falls in love with a clove of garlic and tries his best from preventing the chef from smashing it to bits before chopping it up for contonese-style stir fried veggies with oyster sauce.

PO.
A ninja whose only ninjutsu abilitie he's mastered is to turn into a plank and giving away his location by stuttering really loudly to himself gets elected Governor of Florida.

PO.
Marcus Brigstocke comes on stage naked and says: "Fuck Corduroy, I'm done with you. We've had a good run together but I'm sure you'll have much better luck finding somewhere to cling on by looking for chewed gum and Boris Johnson's shoe.

PO.
Copywriter finds himself in a dilemma because suddenly all he can write is puns. He then proceeds to create The Most awarded pun-filled advertising ever.

Answer:

Counterfeit Money.

A riddle I couldn't crack.

Those who make it, tells it not. those who have it, knows it not, and those who knows it wants it not. What is it?

Answers tomorrow.

Facebook

Where vanity persists like mould on wet bread.

scamping around.

So apparently according to this guy, creatives are the ones who will save an agency from going down.

Holy crap, more reason to work harder than ever.

Question.

Today, I was asked this question.
"What would you do if you were God?"

My reply was
"Prove I exist."

That is all.

So apparently

the Italy, they "touch balls" or tits for girls in addition to "touch wood".

Couldn't make this up even if I tried.

I had a great line I came up on the tube

but then I got hung up on watching Robert Rodriguez's 10 minute film school videos on youtube.

The guy's a frikkin genius.

daily writing: changed at the last minute.

So many things change at the last minute these days. Nothing goes according to plan, or everything does, and the last crucial part of the plan crumbles and then shit flies.

I was going to write about how frustrated I am in putting my book together. Many people telling me to do different things. "If you do this you'll get hired"

This is your golden egg, sure-fire plan, Ace in the hole, trump card.

Stupidly, I listened to all of them and did what I was told.

What's this eh? a book should only have print ads, visual, headline copy?
By Joves.
What else?
No body copy, no long copy?
Holy crap man.
Oh and forget TV-scripts and Radio scripts too. They're bad news.
Why?
I don't know.
Maybe creatives these days are too busy to take time to read your pathetic, badly written little script, maybe it's just a pre-conception that juniours can't ever do anything well other than print.

I don't know.

Nah this won't work, no link with the product.
That's WAY too safe man.
"Unleash your creativity!"(seriously, I was told this)
Fact is, mate, Creative Directors want to be shocked.
Let's give them something funny, witty, and FUCK the product, selling point, and target audience while we're at it man.
We're fucking Juniors.
Who gives a shit?

Everyone's telling you something else, something different.

Sometimes you find someone who makes sense.

I guess this is kind of a thank you letter to Dave Trott for putting up this post.

For whatever reason, the man blogs every day. I suspect it's something to do with keeping himself sharp and on edge. If that entertains people as well, icing on the cake.

My head still feels like it's about to explode, I'm going to do something about it.